This is what I woke up to this morning - over 6 inches of beautiful, white, pristine snow outside my window. So very lovely, and so very, very cold! The kids are in heaven playing outside in it. #2 has been sledding with his buddy and after doing several bad launches, has quite a scraped up face to show for it. They are outside now, sledding in the dark and I forsee an ER visit in my future. That's the way it works - #2 has caused me to make more ER trips in his lifetime than any of the others. At last count he's had 2nd degree burns twice, a broken finger twice, a broken leg, 4 surgeries, 18 concussions, one skull fracture and way too many stitches to count. We were at one point on a first name basis at the hospital. When they saw us walk in, we didn't even sign in - I think they just kept his chart sitting there under the desk. The last time he got hurt he called from the ER "mom, I'm just letting you know I'm at the ER getting my finger stitched up". I just say okay and take it all in stride now.
DH has several complaints about the things I did when building the house - one of which is that my kitchen faces the front of the house. He seems to think the kitchen should face the backyard so I can see the kids playing, but since I rarely let them go out there alone, I wanted the kitchen in the front. Why you may ask? Take a look at this picture again ------ that is my view from my kitchen window. When I am cleaning up and washing dishes, this is what I see. A constant reminder of just how lucky I am to be living here on my little piece of earth and how absolutely beautiful God's world is. Considering how much time each day I spend in the kitchen, having a view that makes me happy just looking out my window seems to make perfect sense, don't you think? I sure do and as the rule of the house states - "if momma isn't happy, no one is happy!"
......but I am tired of being the school work warden all the time! I don't know if I am just being totally unrealistic when it comes to a 13 year old boy in 8th grade, but I don't feel like I should have to write out a daily to do list, gather all the books in one spot and then stand over top of him every minute of the day to make sure he is doing the work. Sometimes I feel sorry for him that his entire day is spent doing about 4 hours worth of work and in the end, he misses out on playing with the neighbor, watching tv or being on the computer at all. I know I have to hold him accountable for his behavior - it's his choice to mess around instead of getting the work done, and it's my choice to homeschool him, but it's just so tiring! I can only imagine how much worse it would be if he went to middle school - he wouldn't ever get any work done in class, would always be in trouble and would have hours of homework to do at the end of the day. So what's the solution? I just don't know. It would be so easy for me to do as so many parents do by sending him to spend that frustrating time all day with someone else, but how can I feel good about myself if I pawn my child off on someone just because the task before me is a difficult one? So what do I do? I go hide, yes hide, from my kids for five minutes to speak with my Father --- knowing He has put these choices in my heart, and falling in back on my mantra "He doesn't give me any challenge before me that He hasn't already prepared me to handle" helps to calm me down to manage each day. No matter what the struggles, I am exactly the mother my son needs and is meant to have. No one else on this Earth is equiped to be his mother, except ME. God knows in all of His wisdom and planning, that in order to meet my childrens' needs, only I can do what they require. My patience, guidance, strength and love are exactly what they need to learn and grow into the adults they are meant to be to serve His purpose for our lives.