......but I am tired of being the school work warden all the time! I don't know if I am just being totally unrealistic when it comes to a 13 year old boy in 8th grade, but I don't feel like I should have to write out a daily to do list, gather all the books in one spot and then stand over top of him every minute of the day to make sure he is doing the work. Sometimes I feel sorry for him that his entire day is spent doing about 4 hours worth of work and in the end, he misses out on playing with the neighbor, watching tv or being on the computer at all. I know I have to hold him accountable for his behavior - it's his choice to mess around instead of getting the work done, and it's my choice to homeschool him, but it's just so tiring! I can only imagine how much worse it would be if he went to middle school - he wouldn't ever get any work done in class, would always be in trouble and would have hours of homework to do at the end of the day. So what's the solution? I just don't know. It would be so easy for me to do as so many parents do by sending him to spend that frustrating time all day with someone else, but how can I feel good about myself if I pawn my child off on someone just because the task before me is a difficult one? So what do I do? I go hide, yes hide, from my kids for five minutes to speak with my Father --- knowing He has put these choices in my heart, and falling in back on my mantra "He doesn't give me any challenge before me that He hasn't already prepared me to handle" helps to calm me down to manage each day. No matter what the struggles, I am exactly the mother my son needs and is meant to have. No one else on this Earth is equiped to be his mother, except ME. God knows in all of His wisdom and planning, that in order to meet my childrens' needs, only I can do what they require. My patience, guidance, strength and love are exactly what they need to learn and grow into the adults they are meant to be to serve His purpose for our lives.Still, when it's all weighing down on me and I question whether or not I am doing my best and giving my all, when the toddlers are making more messes than I can clean up each day, when #3 is working on something difficult that requires more of my attention and I am just exhausted from being up & down all night with #6..........I know that my Father knows exactly what I am in need of and He will provide it. Sometimes it is a peaceful naptime so I can sneak in a nap to recharge myself, a phone call from a dear friend just when I need the encouragement or the support of my husband bringing me roses & thanking me for all I do as a wife and mother. My job within my family is my most important work - without me at the base of it all, the house & family within it would crumble, but when I am able to stand strong taking care of all within, this house & family stand strong against the world outside. And while some women might not understand why I choose to be an at home, homeschooling mom instead of interacting with the corporate world - to me, there is no more challenging or fullfilling job on Earth. Thank you Father for placing me exactly where I am meant to be, as a partner to my husband, mother to my children and caretaker of our household - God is so very, very good!
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